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How to Drive Up Sexual Desire in 8 Steps

1. Don’t Wait Until You Want Sex

The "out of nowhere" spontaneous desire for sex naturally dwindles over time, but sometimes you have to start the fire to feel some heat. Whether you're in a long-term romantic relationship, single, or in a brand-new relationship, don’t wait to engage in erotic play until you feel spontaneous desire. Be proactive about it!

Many people only want sex after they become sexually aroused. This is known as responsive desire, and it's just as valid and fun (and more common, honestly) as spontaneous sexual desire.

2. Schedule Time For Sex

Wondering how to increase your interest in sex? It may not sound sexy, scheduling some sexy time alone or with a partner can help to ensure that your sex drive stays a priority. Instead of thinking about it like another "to-do" on your list, think about it as a part of your day to get excited about. A pleasure appointment is something to look forward to, and is a simple way to keep up your practice of self-care.

3. Use Erotica

This one's simple. Get into some written, visual or audible stories that are sexy or exciting.

Erotica can help you prime your desire pump. Engaging with yourself sexually gets your desire cycle turning again, as pleasurable sexual experiences make you want to experience more and more!

If you have a vagina, there isn't a rule on how much is too much. For anyone with a penis over the age of 25, you might want to consider limiting yourself to masturbating once every 48 to 72 hours. This can help to ensure your erections aren't impacted.

4. Reflecting On Pleasure

Communication is key in all types of relationships. Spend some time reflecting on pleasure and its importance to you. What is your personal motivation for experiencing more pleasure or being better in bed?

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