What Type Of Lover Are You?
Updated: Jun 18, 2020
You’re probably familiar with personality profiles... social psychologists have been studying these concepts for decades! At Lover, Dr. Britney Blair and her team have created a system to help you identify your Lover profile and give you the knowledge to better navigate your intimate relationships.
How Can Knowing Your Lover Type Help You?
Knowing more about what type of lover you are (and your desire type) can not only help increase your pleasure, but it's also going to give you an awareness of how to effectively communicate with your lover. It can also show you where to lean into your discomfort in order to optimize your sexual wellness.
Co-founder and Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Britney Blair, explains: “Just like your general personality, your sexual personality is a mixture of nature and nurture. It develops partly from the traits you are born with, combined with the experiences you have, and cultural and religious influences.” Find out more about our co-founder Dr. Britney Blair here.
Our results from the app show that the most popular profile types in the US are; the Sovereign, the Adventurer and the Sensualist. But in the UK, the most common profile is the Muse (this is a charismatic lover who tends to be better at receiving than giving in bed) and men are more likely to fall into this category.
Dr. Blair adds: “Couples often fight about differences in their sexual personalities that are preventing their needs being met. But if you and your partner have very different profiles, it doesn’t mean you’re incompatible. It just means that you just have different strengths and need to work on these together.”
There are 12 different types of lovers identified by Dr. Britney Blair and our team at Lover, and you can take the full type of lover quiz on the App today, or see below to discover which one you identify with most...
This is you if: You’re turned on by sex in unusual places and quickly get bored of routine.
About you: You like your sex spontaneous and are open to non-conventional partnerships and experiences. For you, pleasure comes first. Confident in the bedroom, you are an intense lover and like to try new things.
How to boost your sex life: As a thrill-seeker, you may find yourself prioritizing pleasure over a deeper connection. Try taking a moment before acting when it comes to sex. Consider the long-term outcome.
This is you if: You prefer giving than receiving pleasure, and enjoy seeing your partner’s sexual arousal response.
About you: You’re a classic ‘giver’. You consider your own orgasm secondary to your partner’s, so you have probably developed a strong sexual skill set. To you, nothing is hotter than seeing your partner lost in the throes of passion. If something isn’t quite clicking, you are quick to adjust and not afraid to explore the unconventional.
You want a deep connection in intimate relationships, and appreciate that it’s about more than the physical; mutual devotion and commitment matter too.
How to boost your sex life: You can be a chameleon, taking on the same preferences as your partner. But it’s important to bring your own desires to the table. Listen to your body as much as your head. Masturbation can be a powerful tool to help work out what you want.
This is you if: You enjoy intense sex with your partner but would feel nervous about casual sex.
About you: Bold and experimental, you like to try new things, especially when you are in a relationship. It’s important that sex remains meaningful. “For you, sex is a bonding experience,” explains Dr. Blair. “For a long-term partnership to thrive, you need wild sex and a deep emotional connection.”
How to boost your sex life: Realise you are prone to boredom in a long-term relationship. Admit it and seek imaginative solutions, which might include spicing things up with role-play or sex toys. Read our article on 'Adventures In Sex' for some more ideas on how to keep it hot.
This is you if: You enjoy phone sex to connect with your partner when you’re apart, but wouldn’t dream of having a one-night stand.
About you: You crave comfort, and need to feel close in intimate relationships to enjoy sex. But under the right conditions, you can be seductive and sensuous. You quickly opt-out of relationships if you sense the other person isn’t in it for the long haul. Some might call you picky.
How to boost your sex life: Try not to be too cautious. Don’t let your fear of rejection or judgment hold you back in bed. Make time for yourself and explore your own desires and fantasies. Learn to ask for what you want with lovers, as your partner may be missing your non-verbal cues.
This is you if: You like being wooed with chocolates, hearts and flowers, but find talk of racy sex shocking.
About you: Sex, for you, is so much more than the physical act. You use it to deepen your bond within a romantic relationship. According to Dr. Blair, you’re turned on by; classic romance, date nights, and walks in the park. And you want to feel the love, with deep eye contact during sex.
Being reserved, it can take you time to find a partner you feel safe with. You never want your lover to feel like a sexual object, so you take care to make them feel appreciated. And when you do fall, it tends to be hard.
How to boost your sex life: Don’t feel pressured to rush things. When you do commit, don’t let your love of routine stop you trying something new. Experiment with new sexual positions or erotica to gently spice things up. Learn what feels good for you.
This is you if: You like to be seduced and avoid taking risks.
About you: Naturally reserved, you are an attentive lover who is happiest in a loving relationship. You won’t jump into bed with just anyone. You are well balanced sexually, enjoying receiving pleasure as well as giving your partner what they want.
You enjoy being coached and guided in sex and rarely take the initiative, instead, you would rather take on the role of ‘learner’ to an experienced partner.
How to boost your sex life: Your natural tendency is to shy away from new sexual activities as risky. But sometimes it’s good to try new things. You tend to be on the quiet side during sex and may not articulate your sexual desires clearly. Try speaking up and ask your partner what they want, too.
This is you if: You flirt with everyone and get bored waiting too long for sex with a new partner.
About you: Free-spirited, fun and friendly. You’re highly skilled in seduction, you are free of judgment, leading you to pursue sexy experiences with new or even multiple partners. You are lucky that you don’t care what others think of you. You are energetic and love gratification, making you a magnanimous sexual being.
How to boost your sex life: You find date nights dull and want to fast-forward to the bedroom, which means you sometimes act before you think. Try to use your judgment to assess situations and people. Are you really enjoying yourself with that new person, or just responding to boredom?
This is you if: You get a thrill from reading erotica but only enjoy sex if there is a mental connection.
About you: You are highly cerebral, with a creative imagination, and your mind is a key sexual organ for you. You don’t have to wait for a partner to enjoy it, either; you can enjoy yourself solo with ease. You are probably already conscious of your own sexual desires. You harness your imagination to push boundaries in the bedroom.
Dr. Blair adds: “You seek out novelty and adventure in your mind. However, the downside is that you can be reserved and often need time before exploring that with another person.”
How to boost your sex life: Try to move out of your mind and into your physical body. Practicing mindfulness can help. Novelty is great, but make sure you devote time to building an emotional connection within intimate relationships too. Head over to our article on 'Being Present For Sexual Pleasure' for more guidance on this.
This is you if: You have no time for flings that are going nowhere, and like taking care of your partner.
About you: Loyal and patient, you know what you want romantically and will make your partner feel safe and connected. Dr. Blair explains: “Ardents tend to prefer sex within the safety of a serious or romantic relationship and are often introverts.”
“Falling in love and staying in love is a big part of your sexual experience. It’s the relationship that turns you on. But because you are a clear communicator, never afraid to talk about sex, your partner will always know where they stand.”
How to boost your sex life: Stop overthinking sex. Close your eyes and notice the sensations you feel when you are touching or pleasuring a partner. Tune in to your body’s reactions to sexual stimuli.
This is you if: You get turned on by being admired, but quickly tire of any ‘unnecessary’ pillow talk.
About you: Nothing excites you more than experiencing your own pleasure. For you, intimacy and connection are about receiving.
You are charismatic, emanating a high sexual energy. You are expressive with body language and eye contact, and use gestures rather than words. You know what will, and won’t, work for you. You want to be worshipped and like to be caressed and kissed, so you need a partner who is willing to do most of the giving in bed and is receptive to your direction.
How to boost your sex life: Try not to forget that your partner also has needs. Creating and witnessing sexual arousal in a partner is one of the strongest turn-ons - don’t miss out. Take a step back and think about what turns you on. Analyze it as well as enjoy it.
This is you if: You like power play in the bedroom, as long as you’re in charge. You find it hard to let go and give in to your feelings.
About you: The Sovereign is a sexual powerhouse. Dr. Blair reveals: “You like to be in control of when, and how, sex happens. You’re a master of giving pleasure and a confident lover. You guide your partner into the erotic and help them explore their sexual potential.”
How to boost your sex life: Remember to let your partner take charge sometimes, to explore new ways of lovemaking. And try to think less and feel more during sex. Why not consider letting your partner take the lead while you focus on receiving for a change?
This is you if: You need instant chemistry to feel sexual arousal, but find it hard to talk about your sexual desires.
About you: You are a hedonist with a relaxed approach to sex. A ‘feeler’, you trust your gut and sex is an important part of your life. You are skillful at using body language and exploring your senses. You enjoy massages, cuddling, kissing and being caressed.
How to boost your sex life: At times you may get lost in the moment at the cost of your partner’s pleasure. Try refocusing on them occasionally, learn what turns them on. While not everyone is as good at body language as you, try to communicate your sexual desires verbally too. Don’t expect partners to read your mind. And let your lover introduce you to new things too!