• The Lover Team

How can I make using a vibrator comfortable for my partner? | Ask Dr. Blair

Question:


"I struggle to reach orgasm with partners, in general. It's never been a problem for me to introduce vibrators into sex play with any of my past partners.


However, my new "boyfriend" told me that he'd never had a partner who needed a vibrator to reach climax, and he seems very uncomfortable with my ask to add vibrators to our regular sexual routines.


How can I make this a "hot" thing, rather than an uncomfortable one for him?"


Dr. Blair's Answer:


First of all, many women need direct and intense clitoral stimulation to orgasm and a vibrator is a great tool to do just that! So, you're not alone in wanting to incorporate sex toys.


A few things about bringing this up... this is a conversation to have outside of the bedroom. You can explain to your partner that you know your body and what it needs to orgasm. That you enjoy your erotic connection with him and having a toy, on occasion, can be a fun addition.


The fact that he has not previously had partners that incorporated toys just means he has found himself a more adventurous Lover - lucky him!


Consider suggesting a mutual masturbation session where he can watch you use your vibrator and you can watch him stimulate himself... watching you experience pleasure and orgasm may be just the thing he needs to get on board with the joys of toys.


Have you got a question for Dr. Britney Blair? You can anonymously as it here.

We're excited to announce the upcoming launch of the Lover Community. This is a space for our members to ask Dr. Britney Blair any questions about sex and relationships, in an anonymous, judgment-free zone. While also allowing you to be part of a community of people who are going through a similar journey to you.

The good news is that we're already open for submissions! So, you can get your questions in early here.

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