Many people think about sexual desire in absolute terms: it's either there or it's not, it’s either high or it’s low. This approach to sexual desire can seem straightforward, but it misses the whole picture.
In fact, sexual desire can be spontaneous, responsive, or a mix of the two. It also fluctuates and changes through these different types over time and in different contexts. Your age, physical health, mental health, and stress levels can all impact how you experience sexual desire.
Learning more about it now can help you live the sex life of your dreams when (not if) your sexual desire changes in the future!
Spontaneous desire is a spark — or eruption — of interest in sex that seems to come out of thin air. It’s when the mental interest in sex arises before there’s any external stimulus for it. For instance, simply seeing your clothed partner as you go about your day and wanting to have sex with them is spontaneous desire.
Think back to the last movie or television show you watched with a sex scene. Chances are that it involved two people suddenly exploding with lust and having sex almost immediately. Media portrays sexual desire just like this – spontaneous, always on the boil, and good to go. However, it's a bit more complicated than that in real life!