The Pleasure Gap

Six Golden Rules for Closing The Pleasure Gap | Lover App Inc

Six Golden Rules for Closing The Pleasure Gap

When we talk about The Pleasure Gap, what we’re really talking about is the thing that no one talks about. That heterosexual women are likely to orgasm far less frequently during sex than their male counterparts.

Should we pause for an awkward silence? That’s right. In fact, a

of over 50,000 cis men and women in the US showed 95% of heterosexual men reported that they had an orgasm the last time they had sex.

On the other hand, only 65% of heterosexual women reported the same. This means that men are 30% more likely to reach orgasm during hetero sex than women, and this is where The Pleasure Gap begins.

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Why Does The Pleasure Gap Exist?

Good question! No one wants The Pleasure Gap to exist. Ask the majority of straight men what great sex means to them, and they’ll probably reference getting their partner to orgasm. Ask straight women, and they’ll probably reference being able to orgasm themselves.

Everyone wants the same thing. But therein lies one of the major causes of The Pleasure Gap... Pressure to orgasm. More on that later.

From a biological and psychological point of view, orgasms tend to be more complicated for women, and take a little more time to happen than they do for men.

Then, of course, there’s centuries of societal and cultural shaming around female pleasure. Sometimes this looks like a severely limited education curriculum about female anatomy in schools, other times this looks like mainstream entertainment industries that portray women having orgasms easily, and frequently, every time they have penetrative sex.

Let’s also acknowledge that humanity managed to invent the mobile phone before it discovered and named the clitoris.

What Can We Do to Close The Pleasure Gap?

There’s no “one size fits all” solution for everyone to have an equal amount of orgasms.

After all, someone’s ability to orgasm can be dictated by anything from the temperature of the room to the kind of day they had at work.

There is, however, a way to make a difference.

According to Lover co-founder Dr. Britney Blair, there are six rules that anyone can employ to improve orgasm equality.

Golden Rule 1: Go Solo

Many women grow up feeling ashamed of their sexuality and discouraged from exploring sexual pleasure, but solo-exploration is the single best way to create change in your sex life for women.

According to Dr. Blair, “The secret to having really good sex is learning to have really good sex with yourself."

This is never more true than when it comes to reaching orgasm. Put simply, the more easily, consistently and creatively you can reach orgasm by yourself, the easier it is going to be with a partner. Men can also contribute here by encouraging their partners to indulge in pleasure, and to do this regularly.

If you’re not sure where to start, check out the Lover app’s

Orgasmic Meditation exercise

Golden Rule 2: Tongues, Toys and Thumbs

Only 17% of women can orgasm from penetration alone, which may come as a shock if you’ve grown up on a diet of Hollywood sex scenes and PornHub’s top-rated videos.

It’s important to look further than simply penetration to find other ways of stimulating the clitoris. Dr. Blair adds, “Be resourceful. Using tong

ues, toys, and fingers can make all the difference.”

In fact, moving away from penetration can transform sex for both partners, and be a great way of closing The Pleasure Gap.