Low sexual desire for men is a general decrease in interest in sexual activity.
To be diagnosed as a sexual dysfunction it needs to persist or recur over six months, according to the DSM-5 regarding male hypoactive sexual desire disorder. It also must cause you “clinically significant distress” such as feelings of anxiety, sadness, and despair.
Low sexual desire can also be lifelong, but most cases are situational. For instance, your mental health, physical health, and other situational factors can affect your desire for sex.
Most people experience fluctuations of sexual desire and sexual attraction over their lifetime. Sometimes, brushing up on how to work with your desire type can be all it takes to get your groove back. Other times, you may benefit from chatting with an expert. like a medical professional about your situation, or seeking sex therapy.
Is my sex drive normal?
It can be hard to tell if your sexual desire is normal. Normal is also not the most helpful term for sex, since everyone enjoys having sex and being sexual differently.
There is no objective way to measure sexual desire across different populations to arrive at a universal standard, we can make generalizations based on data and percentages, but this does not mean every person falls into these parameters.
It is more important to know how you feel about your sexual desire and how you want to bring that into your life with your partner, yourself, or a future partner. Some people are totally happy and satisfied with their sex lives and sometimes that means having comparatively less sex than their peers. On the other hand, others are happy and satisfied when they have more frequent sexual intimacy, which may seem like a lot to others.
I think I'm less interested in sex than I used to be
It is normal for sexual desire to shift over time. This is the case for everyone. If you find it distressing that your sex drive has decreased suddenly and you are feeling concerned about it it is possible to change this. Likewise, you could be experiencing a sudden increase in your sex drive, and it’s interfering with your ability to live your life.
Whatever the case, a fluctuation in sex drive is common and happens for many reasons. If it’s impacting your life and relationships, or if it’s making you unhappy, it might be time to consider seeking expert support like sex therapy and therapeutic exercises.
There is usually no one reason why a person will be experiencing low desire, so it’s about checking in with yourself and seeing where the problem may lie.
What causes low sexual desire?
There are so many things that can cause a low sexual drive, and they can be both psychological and physiological.
Psychological causes can include relationship dissatisfaction or problems within a relationship, stress, and depression. On top of that, if the sex you are having is not pleasurable, or you have a sexual dysfunction, this will likely be impacting your levels of desire too.
Physiological causes include underlying health problems like reduced hormone levels like testosterone (low testosterone), older age, and even doing too much exercise or too little exercise. Likewise, if you're using drugs or alcohol you might find this causes sexual dysfunction, including decreased desire.
Older men, 65 years old and above, are likely to experience low libido, erectile dysfunction, health problems, prostate cancer, and other lower testosterone levels. All of these can affect your libido and your performance in bed.
Male sexual disfunction always increases with age, but there are many medical treatments for your sexual health.
There is usually no one reason why a person will be experiencing low desire, so it’s about checking in with yourself, talking to your doctor, and seeing where the problem may lie.
What does having a low sex drive mean for men?
If you’re experiencing low desire, you might worry that it says something about you as a person or as a man. This can be mentally and emotionally challenging, and we highly recommend speaking to your partner, friends, medical professionals, and a therapist for support.
If you’re in a relationship, low sexual desire can lead to conflict, especially if you have a desire discrepancy with your partner.
If you and your partner have never struggled with your sexual life before, it could be beneficial to look at different types of therapy. Important to address these desire issues together and support one another’s choices. The Lover app is a great tool to use for understanding your desire and your partner's desire and can help you recultivate erotic intimacy with your partner.
If you have a penis, low desire isn’t the same thing as erectile dysfunction, though if it leads to anxiety around sexual experiences then erectile dysfunction can result. Similar to communicating the differences in desire in your relationship, communicating with your partner can alleviate some of these issues.