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The Dead Bedroom: Am I In A Sexless Relationship?

It’s hard to set a standard on how often you should be having sex. It’s even harder to meet that standard if you’ve set one. Sex can start to feel like a chore and cause intimacy issues in your relationship.


If you are finding that you are having less sex with your partner, you might think at first “is this just the honeymoon phase ending?” Or you could be worried that your spouse is not attracted to you anymore. Or inversely, you may not be interested in your spouse anymore.


The truth is, the frequency at which we have sex is totally personal. You may hear friends or people on TV bragging about having hot sex many times a day, if you’re having sex once a week or less that's also very normal.


This blog will dive into some of the common reasons your bedroom is experiencing a lack of sex and how to get sexual intimacy back where you want it.


Is it normal to not have a lot of sex?


It’s inevitable that couples go through periods where they have a lot of sex, and then periods when we have not much at all. If life gets in the way, or work gets more stressful, it’s only natural that sex starts to slip down our priority list.


On top of that, as we move out of the initial lusty honeymoon phase, our sexual desire does naturally start to wax and wane, which makes keeping up the sexual side of our relationships more difficult. Dr. Britney Blair, a sex therapist in San Francisco, says that sexual frequency can decrease after 6 - 18 months into a relationship.


So, if you’re someone worried about being in a sexless relationship, don’t panic. At Lover, we believe there are solutions, and these will leave you feeling happier and more confident in yourself and your relationships.


What does a sexless marriage or relationship mean?


Recent studies have defined a sexless relationship as having sex 10 times or less in a year*. So, if you’re one of the people wondering “is once a month a sexless marriage” it looks like you’re safe!


Newsweek magazine found that between 15 and 20% of relationships are sexless. And, 10% of couples under 50 had not had sex in the last year*.