Is My Sex Drive Normal?
Updated: Dec 10, 2020
What is a normal libido?
How long is a piece of string? As long as a piece of string... Similarly, when it comes to having a 'normal' sex drive, there's no such thing. In fact, libido, or sex drive, exists along a continuum. One person may identify as having low libido, whereas for another person they'll consider it a high libido. The point is, it just comes down to the individual.
This variation also happens among men and women. In fact, one study showed women's sex drive is more disparate, while men have greater similarity in their sex drive. There are lots of possible reasons for this, but it probably comes down to hormones and socio-cultural influences.
Is having a high libido bad?
If you are concerned about how high your libido is, it mostly isn't a cause for concern. But, much like other things, everything is good in moderation. If you find your libido is affecting your day to day life or relationships, it’s always best to seek help.
That said, how do you know if it’s high? Some people will consider themselves having a high sex drive because their desire for sex outweighs their partner's. Another person may notice that they are craving sex a lot more than they did last month. There isn't a test you can take which will tell you, so it just comes down to how you feel. And, let's be clear having a high libido is in no way 'abnormal'.
In fact, our desire tends to fluctuate a lot. Over the course of a year, a relationship, or even by the week. And, if you’re a woman, you might have noticed that you have a spike in your libido just before your period!
It's usually a sign of a happy and healthy lifestyle! Many people will have a high sex drive just because they're having great sex. Because, if you’re having great sex, it’s no surprise you’ll be wanting a lot more of it! Likewise, generally feeling happy, stress-free and fit (physically) can all contribute to you wanting sex more.
So, as you can probably gauge from this, a high sex drive is most often a sign of doing something right in your life. So, if you find yourself with a high sex drive, lucky you!
Why do guys have higher libido?
There is definitely a stereotype that men have a much higher sex drive than women. But is this actually the case?
A recent study by Ohio University, ‘Sex On The Brain’ looked at the amount of sexual thoughts students had during the day. The results revealed that men on average had 19 a day, while women had 10. This would suggest they had a higher sex drive.
However, more recently, it’s been understood that female desire is reactionary, in other words, it is responsive to sexual stimuli. So, while women may not have sex on the brain as much as men, once they are aroused, desire tends to follow. Whereas, men have generally shown to have higher rates of what’s called ‘spontaneous desire’, whereby their desire for sex can arise without stimulation. This doesn’t mean women don’t want intimacy, it’s just that they have a slightly different love language!
Why is this the case? Well, some people put it down to the higher levels of testosterone in males, while others point to social and cultural factors.
Is there an age where women become sexually inactive?
Firstly, there is no defining age when a woman becomes sexually inactive. And the reasons why a person will become sexually inactive can vary hugely.
These reasons might include;
Not engaging enough sexually, either solo or partnered, which can lead to the natural waning of desire
The menopause - which can make orgasm more difficult, and increase the likelihood of vaginal dryness (which can make sex painful), and low libido.
Medications that cause low libido
That said, a recent study reported that women between 40 and 50 who placed a greater emphasis on engaging in sex as they aged showed to stay sexually active. Therefore, there is no age where women become sexually inactive, it just comes down to the individual.
So, if you want to stay sexually active, make sex your priority!
What hormone turns a girl on?
Estrogen and progesterone are the main two female sex hormones. Women also have a little bit of testosterone in their bodies, like men, which also helps contribute to sexual desire.
The levels of these hormones in your body will fluctuate over your lifetime, most commonly due to puberty, childbirth and menopause.
But, if you’re looking for ways to turn on yourself, or a woman, and you don’t want to rely on the natural cycle of hormones, there are loads of other routes to take. Check out our article here to find out more.