• The Lover Team

Low Sex Drive In Women

Updated: Dec 10, 2020

What is low sex drive?

Low sexual desire, or low libido, is the decrease in sex drive which can interfere with a person’s desire to engage in sexual activity and it is considered a sexual dysfunction.

The truth is, many women, and men, will experience sexual desire fluctuating within their lifetime. Most of the time it’s totally natural - and something we have the power to control. 

What are the symptoms of low desire?

There is no defining number that describes “low desire” or having a low sex drive. Low desire will mean different things for different women. 

That said, the common signs of low libido in women are as follows:

  • A noticeable decrease in interest to engage in any type of sexual activity, either alone (masturbation) or with a partner, for some people this can result in having a sexless relationship*.

  • A lower desire for sex than your partner does (which doesn't mean one of you is abnormal, but in some cases it can lead to distress in a relationship).

  • Not having sexual fantasies or thoughts

  • A worrying lack of interest in sex or fantasy.

  • Difficulty in getting pleasure from sex

What causes low sex drive in women?

Desire for sex is reliant on many different factors working together in tandem, if one of them is out of kilt you may find your sex drive wanes. For example, inhibitors can result from relationship dissatisfaction, being sexually inactive, stress, lack of sleep, cultural or religious influences, emotional wellbeing, hormones… the list goes on. 

Generally, the four most common desire inhibitors among women are; 

Relationship problems

This may result in a lack of sexual connection with your partner, and/or trust issues which in turn can act as a brake pedal for desiring sexual intimacy.

Psychological factors

Psychological factors can range from mental health problems, stress and low self-esteem to having past negative sexual experiences that come to impact on your ability to desire sex.

Physical factors

Physical factors include being on a certain medication that impacts sexual desire, having a sexual dysfunction (like anorgasmia) and even exhaustion.

Hormone changes

For women, this most commonly comes about from pregnancy and menopause. The change in the level of hormones can naturally inhibit the desire for sex.

How do I increase my sex drive?

When it comes to seeking help for your low sex drive, you don’t have to meet the medical definition to warrant medical attention and help. In fact, if you are at all bothered by your low sex drive, or it is having an effect on your self-esteem and relationships, it is always best to seek guidance to help get you back on track. 

It's also important to treat the underlying issue first. So, if you think your medication might be the cause of your low desire, then it's best to consult with a healthcare provider first.

Some women will prefer to take medication for increasing their sex drive, such as Flibanserin, which is also sold under the name Addyi and is specifically for menopausal women. However, there are various other treatments for low libido in women that don’t require medication

One of the best ways to drive up desire is to simply start engaging sexually again. If you stop having sex (that's solo or partnered), it's likely that you're going to stop wanting sex too. At Lover, we always recommend masturbation, as it's one of the best-kept secrets for driving up your sexual desire, so make it part of your to-do list!

If you're interested in finding out more, at Lover we have various courses created by experts designed to drive up desire so that you can get back on track. Download the Lover app today or alternatively check out our articles on Eight Steps To Drive Up Desire and 10 Steps To Bring Back Sexual Desire.

To find out more about how Lover can help you - visit our article here, or check out our interview with co-founder and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Britney Blair.

*A sexless relationship is defined as having sex less than 10 times a year.


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