When it comes to low desire, most women will have had some experience with it. In fact, studies have shown 1 in 3 women in the US report having a low sex drive. And for those women, a further 1 in 3 will have a troubling issue with it*.
So, if you’re one of many women wondering ‘how do I increase my sex drive?’ - then this one if for you!
How do I increase my sex drive?
There are many ways to increase sex drive in women that involve making achievable changes to your lifestyle.
Adopt a healthy lifestyle
Adopting good habits and ditching the bad ones will leave your sex drive in a much healthier condition, and it will likely put you in a better mood too!
Stress is a leading sex drive killer (in men too), so find a way to disentangle from your daily stressors!
Address the problems within your relationship
Communicate, communicate, communicate! Learn how to do it, in an open and non-judgemental way. That way you can build a stronger emotional connection before you dive into improving your erotic connection. Once you’ve established that, try communicating with your partner about your sexual likes and dislikes. That way - you can better get the sex you desire!
Try saying yes to sex more often
This might sound weird, but desire is often talked about in black or white terms - uncontrollable or non-existent. But this isn’t realistic! If you’ve had a stressful day, sex is not going to be at the front of your mind as you come through the door. But, if you engage with your partner’s advances it’s possible it will spark some desire within you...
That said, it should always be 100% consensual.
It sounds lame, but scheduling sex is one of the best ways to make intimacy a priority. And by engaging sexually more frequently - you’ll find your sex drive naturally increases.
Keep it hot in the bedroom! If you’ve got bedroom boredom your sex drive will naturally wane. So, try out a new position, have sex somewhere else in your home - even try some roleplay! Lover co-founder and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Britney Blair says one of the best sex toys you can use is a wig!
Having a low sex drive can feel very distressing, especially when it starts to take a toll on your confidence, relationships, and your mood. At the same time, it can also be difficult on your partner who can come to feel rejected, which can conflate issues.
It’s important to remember that this is a normal part of every relationship - however, if it comes to have a detrimental impact on your relationship or you find yourself in a sexless relationship, couples therapy can be a great solution.
At Lover, we have various expert courses created by Clinical Psychologist Dr. Britney Blair designed to drive up desire. For more information on How Lover Can Help You, see here. Or, download the app today to find out more.
When do I seek medical help?
For many women, a drop in sexual desire is normal. However, if your low sex drive becomes a source of distress, or it starts to impact your mood or relationships it’s best to seek medical attention. By definition, it might be something called "hypoactive sexual desire disorder," which is the persistent lack of sexual thoughts and desire.
Note: this is not caused by personal problems, but it is one of the most common sexual dysfunctions facing women. So if this feels relevant - check-in with your healthcare provider.
Medications and hormone therapy
The good news is there are various medications for low sexual desire, such as Flibanserin (or Addyl) which are commonly used to treat hypoactive sexual desire disorder (a.k.a hsdd) in premenopausal women. Instant female arousal pills can be found online, but it's safest to check with a qualified professional before buying these.
Some medications such as antidepressants can negatively impact sexual desire too. So, if you think this might be affecting you, check with your doctor for alternatives.
Shifren JL, Monz BU, Russo PA, Segreti A, Johannes CB. Sexual problems and distress in United States women. Obstet Gynecol 2008;112:970-978.
West SL, D’Aloisio AA, Agans RP, et al. Prevalence of low sexual desire and hypoactive sexual desire disorder in a nationally representative sample of US women. Arch Intern