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Keeping It Hot In The Bedroom

Who doesn’t want to experience more sexual pleasure, or be better in bed?

It can be hard to keep things fresh and fun, particularly in long-term relationships. So, it’s perfectly natural for things to get a little less exciting over time. In fact, reigniting passion within a relationship is a common conversation our founder and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Britney Blair has with patients in her clinic. 

Why? Well, for most people in long-term relationships, sexual desire waxes and wanes over time. This can often lead to couples having less sex or even falling into a ‘sexual rut’ - always having sex in the same way, in the same place, and often with the same outcome.

And while there is nothing wrong with having the occasional mediocre sex, why settle for stagnant?

Let’s talk about sex!

Sex and the erotic are an important part of your identity. And, most people would say it's also crucial to the health of your relationship.

Did you know that 81% of people say that satisfactory sex is essential to the maintenance of a relationship?

So why don’t we talk about how to have better sex and protect against bedroom boredom? Well, that’s why we’re here!

One of the easiest ways to great sex is learning the art of both verbal and non-verbal communication. Being able to share your fantasies, turn-ons and things you love about your sex life are all great to share (including things you’d like to try).

On top of that, couples that are able to communicate their desire with a partner also report greater connectedness, both inside and outside the bedroom*. Besides, who doesn't want to be able to try new things, or do more of what they love? It keeps things new and exciting!

Turn up the sexual desire

Ok, it’s time to try something new! This doesn’t mean swinging from the rafters or going to a sex party (unless of course that’s what you’re into).

You could consider role-playing with your partner for instance. Get creative – dress up, indulge in fantasy...introduce some props. One of the top recommendations Dr. Blair suggests is a wig!

Think about an exciting sexual scenario, try a new sex toy, read or watch erotica. Maybe even send some sexy texts, or go to your partner’s workplace at lunchtime and find a little corner to canoodle. 

Playing with fantasies is also a great way to kick things into high gear. And let’s be clear - there is no such thing as a fantasy crime. In the world of fantasy, anything goes and there is nothing abnormal

Anything and everything turns someone on, and someone else off. While some fantasies should remain in the mind, others can be integrated into your sex life, especially if they help with driving up the desire for sex!

It takes practice

We hope this has made you think about what sort of sex you want to be having. Remember, it’s perfectly normal to experience bedroom fatigue in a relationship, but that’s also an invitation to spice things up!

Learn to prioritize new ways of connecting with your partner. Foster better sexual communication skills, share your fantasies with one another and decide what you want to bring to life.

Having a vibrant sex life takes practice and more importantly, it must be prioritized. So, we challenge you to make this your relationship goal.


At Lover, it's our mission to help everyone have better, more pleasurable, sex. Download the app today to see which science-based course can help you.


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