My Partner Isn't Comfortable with Vibrators. What Do I Do? | Ask Dr. Blair
Updated: Mar 24
Q: "I struggle to reach orgasm with my partners during sex, unless I have my vibrator. It's never been a problem previously introducing them into sex play with my partners. However, my new 'boyfriend' told me that he's never had a partner who needed one to reach climax, and he seems very uncomfortable about me incorporating one into sex. How can I make this a 'hot' thing, instead of an uncomfortable thing for him?"
Dr. Blair's Answer
First of all, many women need direct and intense clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, and a vibrator is a great tool to do just that! You're not alone in wanting to incorporate sex toys.
A few things about bringing this up: This is a conversation to have outside of the bedroom. You can explain to your partner that you know your body, and what it needs to have an orgasm. You can also say that you enjoy your erotic connection with him, and having a toy can be a fun addition.
The fact that he has not previously had partners who have incorporated toys just means that now, he's found himself a more adventurous Lover -- lucky him!
Consider suggesting a mutual masturbation session where he can watch you use your vibrator and you can watch him stimulate himself. Watching you experience pleasure and climax may be just the thing he needs to get on board with the joys of toys.
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