• The Lover Team

What Is A Female Orgasm?

Updated: Jul 22

What actually happens when you orgasm? 

For anyone that's ever had an orgasm - you'll know it's one of the best feelings out there. But what's actually going on in our bodies when we have one?

Well, when we’re aroused blood flows to the vulva, heightening its sensitivity. What tends to follow is an increased heart rate and rapid breathing. As the body becomes more and more aroused it culminates in orgasm... the rhythmic contraction and release of our muscles*. 

The stages of arousal to orgasm vary, but generally, most theories believe it follows these steps;

  • excitement, during which arousal builds

  • plateau, during which arousal increases and levels off 

  • orgasm, which causes intense feelings of pleasure

  • resolution, during which arousal diminishes 

Women are lucky in that they can actually orgasm again after the resolution phase, while men require a period of rest before they are able to orgasm again. 

Woman climax signs

So, how do you know if you’ve had an orgasm? 

There is no simple answer here, but generally, women can experience any of the following.

  • A feeling of tension release

  • A feeling of elation followed by feeling very relaxed 

  • A tingling sensation over your body 

  • Contractions in the vaginal wall and across the body

  • Curling of toes and fingers 

  • Rapid breathing

  • Flushed body 

  • Sensitive genitals after orgasm 

All orgasms vary in intensity, frequency and duration. One person may describe it as an intense tingling sensation all over the body, whereas for another the defining feature might be the sense of elation. These sensations will also depend on the type of orgasm you’re having! That might be anal, clitoral or even a nipple orgasm... 

Is it normal for a girl to never orgasm?

The answer to this question isn't straightforward. If you're someone who has never orgasmed during sex - you're not alone. In fact, a study in 2018 revealed that just 65% of heterosexual women climax during sex, while 95% of heterosexual men orgasm during sex. 

But while it’s very common for a woman to not climax during sex, this doesn't have to be the case every time!

Decades of inadequate sexual education around female sexual pleasure has left many women not getting the correct stimulation in the bedroom. Likewise, because masturbation has been taboo for so long, many women haven't explored their bodies to work out what they like! This can mean they are short-changed in the bedroom. 

The good news is there are solutions. In fact, you can even learn how to orgasm! Some women use sensate focus exercises, while others use masturbation. There are also various female arousal disorder treatments available for women who consistently can't orgasm.

To clarify; if a woman doesn’t climax this doesn’t mean they have psychological problems. Yes - sexual trauma and depression can contribute to an inability to orgasm. But, anorgasmia can still affect anyone. 

What happens when a woman doesn’t climax

Climaxing during sex - for most people - is the best part of sex. But, there are many factors that can get in the way of orgasm.

These factors can range from stress, distraction and not being pleasured in the right way to gynecological issues.  

The problem with not orgasming consistently is that it can take on a toll on your sex drive. This is probably not a surprise - because if you are consistently not reaching the desired outcome, it’s natural your desire for sex will wane. 

And this can become a self-perpetuating cycle that doesn’t just lead to a low sex drive. If you’re having unpleasurable sex it can also lead to relationship dissatisfaction and low self-esteem. In fact - sex is pretty important for our romantic relationships as it helps release the hormone ‘oxytocin’ which increases our feelings of emotional attachment!

If you are struggling to orgasm - download the Lover app today. We have various courses specifically designed to get you climaxing consistently. Or, to find out more about how Lover can help you, check out our post here.



Download for iOS



  • Facebook
  • Instagram