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Why Intimacy and the Erotic Are Connected

For many couples who want to know how to bring passion back into a relationship, it can be tempting (and understandable) to focus purely on the sexual. After all, that's where the issue feels most acute.

For many couples, however, a sexual issue is a symptom of a problem that has roots outside of the bedroom. If you're feeling emotionally disconnected from your partner, this can also lead to impact your erotic connection.

If this is the case, then you might need to focus on rebuilding that emotional connection first and getting your romantic relationship back on track, before looking to bring passion back into your relationship in the bedroom.

Focusing on Emotional Intimacy

No matter how strong your relationship is, you and your partner may feel less connected to each other over certain periods of time when you've been together long enough.

Don't panic! Reduced emotional intimacy and disconnect from time to time is perfectly normal. It's all part of how relationships evolve as each partner matures, and it isn't necessarily a sign that something is fundamentally broken. All types of relationships go through peaks and troughs.

If your connection could use improvements, it can take a bit of work to build that connection back up. If you're finding that your sex life is dropping off at the same time, re-establishing that emotional intimacy can become an especially important part of your relationship to focus on.

How to Build Emotional Intimacy

A surprisingly simple approach to this common question, is to think back to when you first met in the early throes of romance. What made those early days and dates special? Talking, laughter, and learning about each other perhaps?

Visualization is an effective tool used by anyone from sports stars to therapists. It's been proven that by visualizing a scenario, you're actually building the brain patterns which come into play when that scenario is a possibility - thereby giving yourself the best chance of bringing it to reality. And there's no reason why it can't be effective for you too.

Try to immerse yourself in those memories, and remember how you felt towards your partner at the time. Visualize getting back to those same feelings with them now, and what that would look like today. If possible, get your partner to do the same.


Through our resident advisor and co-founder Dr. Britney Blair, we know that many couples want to know how to bring passion back into a relationship. Download the Lover app for expert guidance that will help you strengthen your erotic connection and your relationship.


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