• The Lover Team

How To Last Longer In Bed

Updated: Dec 18, 2020

If you're reading this article because you're worried you cum too soon, you're not alone.

In fact, approximately 30% of men believe they suffer from early or involuntary ejaculation at some point in their lives. But according to the medical definition, just 3% actually suffer from early or involuntary.

So, even if you don't medically "fit" the definition of having premature ejaculation, it seems a lot of men out there are keen on lasting longer in bed. And who's to blame? Sex shouldn't always have to be a quick in-out.

Using the advice from Clinical Sexual Therapists on the Lover app, we've put together a summary of the ways you can naturally last longer in bed. These are techniques and practices that have been used by sexual therapists for decades, helping millions of men with premature ejaculation.

Stop-start technique

This technique is one of the most effective ways to increase the length of your sexual encounter.

Why? It’s a great way to practice gaining control of your arousal, so that you don’t fall over the edge into orgasm before you want to. The premise of the exercises is to masturbate (either alone or with a partner), right up until you're about to orgasm. Then just before you fall over the edge into orgasm, you stop stimulation... take some deep breaths and allow your arousal (and erection) to fall back down.

This exercise is safe to repeat a few times. Of course, you're free to continue into orgasm as you wish. But the goal is to repeat it a few times so that you can really get confident in the practice.

The benefit of this technique is that you're building awareness of the signals your body gives you as you lead up to orgasm. It will also show you that you can be in control of your body, so that you can confidently slow down and pull back when you need to.

For guided start-stop exercises, head over to the Lover app today and try out our Endurance Training Exercises.

Squeeze technique

Just as you feel yourself edging towards climax, pause, stop stimulation (whether it's masturbation or partnered sex) then squeeze the tip of your penis.

You should notice your erection weakens. Then you're free to start again! With this technique, you can safely do it repeatedly (just don't squeeze too hard!).

Practice deep breathing

Like in the stop-start exercises, deep breathing can be a great tool to calm the mind and refocus our attention away from ejaculation. 

So, if you're someone who gets stuck in their head, worried about coming too soon, this will also help you shut out those anxious thoughts.

Elongate foreplay

We've got news for you - sex is more than just penetration!

A recent study in 2017 revealed that 95% of heterosexual men said they usually or always orgasm during sex. Compare that to just 65% of heterosexual women. Something’s not adding up.

We call this discrepancy “The Pleasure Gap”. The solution? Most women climax from clitoral stimulation (and not penetration). So, enjoy foreplay (or coreplay as we like to call it). It’ll most likely give your partner the stimulation they need to orgasm… and it’ll lengthen the time of your sexual encounter. Yes please.

Practice kegels

One study revealed 82.5% of men who struggled with premature ejaculation found they could take back control of the ejaculatory reflex after 12 weeks of practicing kegels*. Need we say more?

If you're interested in how to do a kegel, we've got guided practices over on the Lover app.

Experiment with new positions

Got your favorite tried and tested position in sex? Why not switch it up. You may find trying out another position allows you to last that bit longer in bed.

Focus on your partner’s pleasure

Try diverting your attention away from the pleasure you’re experiencing, onto the pleasure your partner is experiencing. This may help you regain control of your own arousal, and your partner will no doubt find the added attention super hot.

Stay healthy

Obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes all contribute to erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.

So, the easiest thing you can do is to make sure you’re eating a healthy diet and staying active. If you're sitting at your desk all day, go for a walk in your lunch break, make a salad for lunch!

All of these small steps will not just improve your overall health, but it will help to stave off any illnesses that could impact your erections. 

Download the Lover app today for expert-created courses, designed to have you lasting longer in bed.




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