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What an Orgasm Is and How You Can Have One

What happens when you have an orgasm? 



The orgasm is famously one of the greatest feelings ever. If you haven't had one you might be wondering what all the hype is about. Let's see what's really going on in your body when you have one.


When a person with a vulva is aroused, blood flows to their genitals heightening the sensitivity of that area. This area includes the vulva, labia minora and majora, clitoris, clitoral hood, and other tissues. When you begin stimulating this sensitive area, this is when you begin to feel an increased heart rate and rapid breathing, often called "excitement". It's an electric feeling that you might experience in solo play or with a partner you have good chemistry with. The more aroused you are, the closer and closer you are to culminating in orgasm.


Climaxing and its components.

The early stages of arousal are interchangeable in their order. In general, it happens like this:

  • Excitement, when arousal builds

  • Plateau, when arousal increases and is maintained

  • Orgasm, which causes intense feelings of pleasure

  • Resolution, when arousal diminishes

You may find that your excitement and plateau stages move back and forth building you to an orgasm. Or you might find yourself moving from excitement to plateau very slowly or very quickly. This can also change depending on the activity. Remember, no matter what you are feeling, if it feels good to you, it's ok!


People with vaginas can often orgasm again after the resolution phase (woo! multiple orgasms!), while for the most part, people with penises require a period of rest before they can have another orgasm. This is often referred to as a refractory period. It is not unusual to find yourself in a refractory phase even if you are a vagina owner. Listen to your body, it knows what to do.


Pro-tip: Orgasming before penetration can help prepare the way for more play!


What does an orgasm feel like?

There are many types of orgasms, from different types of stimuli but overall, all orgasms produce rhythmic contractions in your vagina and the release of muscles all over. (You may even feel a strange pressure, similar to the urge to pee right before you orgasm!)


But, just like pleasure, there is an unlimited way of feeling it and explaining that feeling. When orgasming, you can experience any of the following.

  • A building of tension that concludes in a massive euphoric release.