• The Lover Team

How To Handle Sexual Frustration

Updated: Jul 22, 2020

This article has been adapted from the original article, "Sexual Frustration Is Normal — Here’s How to Handle It" by Healthline.

Sexual frustration is something most people have experienced at some point in their life. And, during the 2020 COVID lockdown, this frustration has become a lot more common for some...

But, what is sexual frustration exactly?

Sexual frustration will manifest itself differently from individual to individual. For one person it may make them more agitated, and for another, it will increase their anxiety.

There's a long list of why you might be feeling sexual frustration, but here are some of the root causes:

  • lack of arousal

  • lack of orgasm, lack of intensity of orgasm, or lack of multiple orgasms

  • shame in the type of sex you’re having, have had, or want to be having

  • not having the type of sex you want to be having

It's also not uncommon that the sexual frustration you think you are feeling is actually coming from another frustration within your life.

Is it normal?

Mainstream media has us thinking that we should all be having mindblowing sex all the time. But the reality is very different, and this can often leave us feeling a bit sexually 'frustrated'.

The truth is, it's totally normal, and everyone's sexual desire goes through high points and low points throughout their lifetime.

What can I do about it?

Listen to music that downregulates you

Lover co-founder and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Britney Blair says, “Music is a powerful mood manipulator” so pop on something calming, and not your regular sex playlist.


Find out what exercise works best for you, it might be yoga, boxing or running. Dr. Blair says once you find the right activity for you, the energy release and rush of endorphins can help.


This might sound strange, but Dr. Blair says “shifting the focus off the self and onto another can help.” Plus, it's a great distraction from sitting there thinking about how sexually frustrated you are.

Remember that all emotion is temporary

“No one feels frustrated, or any other emotion, indefinitely,” says Blair. “Be compassionate with yourself, and know that this too shall pass.”

At Lover, it's our mission to help everyone have healthier and happier sex lives. Download the app today to find out how it can help you.


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