Ask Dr. Blair | My Husband Never Wants to Have Sex. What Should I Do?

Every couple has “desire discrepancy,” where one partner wants more erotic or sexual contact than the other. Maybe early on he wanted to have sex more often than you did, now you want to have more sex than he does.

However! You mention that he never wants to have sex, this is much different than desire discrepancy and may be a potential incompatibility.

I’m curious if he’s willing to talk about his experience with you, and if there are other areas of conflict in the relationship, and if this is how he is expressing his anger toward you. I would recommend working with a couple’s therapist because for 80% of couples, a satisfying sex life is crucial to the relationship. So to preserve the relationship, you may need a professional for ongoing help with navigating this.

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