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Love In Lockdown - Keeping Romance Alive During A Pandemic

This article has been adapted from the original article ‘More conflict but more sex: relationship advice for couples living together amid coronavirus’

 

Most of us have been homebound over the last few months in order to stop the spread of coronavirus. Working, eating, exercising, sometimes teaching our children all in the same space.


And when this comes to our romantic relationships - this can have a huge impact. It’s no surprise really, all of our everyday stressors are now all in the same space. 

Lover co-founder and clinical psychologist Dr. Britney Blair says, “For all of us, this time is quite stressful. And I think when we're stressed out, our coping skills are taxed. And so the normal kind of frustrations that come up in relationships, and with children, and with taking care of a home… they're exacerbated by this kind of underlying stress we have about what's happening in the world.” The differences couples typically navigate in a healthy way are “coming to the fore,” she notes.


If you or your partner is out of work, or you have kids to teach while you're trying to juggle your job, “It's just a recipe for both frustration, irritation, as well as resentment,” Blair says. 


So we've pulled together some pointers to help you navigate lockdown with a partner.


Create space, and be compassionate


The first thing I would recommend is for all of us to hold ourselves and our partners with compassion. I think it's important, even in really small spaces, to create separateness and distance. Every partnership needs a certain amount of connection and closeness, and needs a certain amount of distance,” Dr. Blair says. 


Blair suggests finding a specific spot in your home which can be your private area. Don't worry if you don't have space, instead, make an effort to do an activity alone once a day, or week. Give your partner the freedom to do so as well.


Do the same for your workspace, “If you're working from home, one spot in the kitchen or dining room table, that is your office. And you do not take your office into your bedroom or into the kids’ room. I think this helps us dema