An Interview With Lover Founder Dr. Britney Blair
Updated: Jun 9, 2020
As the co-founder of Lover, and a leading practicing Clinical Psychologist, we talk to Dr. Britney Blair about why she started Lover and what her vision is for the app.
Q: What made you decide to start helping people with their sex lives?
During my very first year of graduate school, I stumbled upon a sexual health workshop. It was primarily about female sexual health and I learned that basically one in two women, and one in three men, have a problem with their sexual health. Then I learned how effective treatment interventions are, and how quickly those interventions usually work.
I knew in that moment this was going to be my life's work: helping people optimize their sexual health and feel more connected to themselves and to each other.
Q: What are the most common issues you manage?
Some call it sex therapy counseling, but I consider it part of our overall sexual health wellness. And I see all sorts of people, with all sorts of different sexual complaints, from single people to those in romantic relationships.
But the most common sexual complaint that I hear, is ‘discrepant desire’. So, in almost every relationship, one partner has a higher sexual desire, and the other partner has a lower sexual desire. And that can actually fluctuate over time.
I also often see men with erectile dysfunction, I see women who are pre-orgasmic, or who have an orgasm in certain situations and not in others. Many clients question how to increase interest in sex, sometimes for themselves or for their partner. Those are probably the most common sexual complaints that we see at our clinic.
Q: What’s the most satisfying thing about the work you do?
The most satisfying thing about the work I do is really seeing people reconnect with themselves and their partners around sex and sexuality.
I see so many couples that come in for the first session, and they’re sitting on my couch far apart. Then, in just a short period of time when we’re helping how to bring passion back into a relationship and build their erotic connection, it starts to change. They come in the following weeks and they’re sitting much closer together like two teenagers grinning, giggling and holding hands.
Q: What is the one thing you wish everyone knew or understood about sex?
The one thing I wish everyone knew and understood about sex is that whatever works for you works for you. It doesn’t take a clinical psychologist to understand that, it’s something we can all relate to.
I also wish people knew that sex is important to prioritize, whether you’re in a romantic relationship or not. And by the way, it doesn’t come naturally – so really leaning into discomfort, leaning into vulnerability and prioritizing this aspect of your wellness is incredibly important.
For most of us, sex and sexuality is a core part of our identity. It affects our confidence, it affects our ability to connect with our partner, and just help you move through the world happier, healthier and more satisfied.
Q: Why did you decide to co-found Lover?
What has really gotten me passionate about this project, and the team at Lover, is that we’re all really committed to helping people improve their sex lives.
Coming in to see a doctor about your sexual health is not easy for a lot of people. It can be embarrassing to talk about these things, time consuming and expensive. Much like relationship counseling online, through this platform I hope that we can reach millions and millions of people - many more people than my team can see at our clinic.
Q: What are you most excited about with Lover?
As a Clinical Psychologist, friends often laugh at me for saying that I think if we could improve everyone’s sex life we could have world peace and even reverse climate change!
But in all honesty, I believe if we were all having healthier, more satisfying sex, our relationships would be better. We’d be more connected, less frustrated and less annoyed. If you’re looking how to put love back into a relationship, or just to spice things up a little, paying attention to your sexual wellbeing is key.
So my hope is that through Lover, we’re able to impact on millions of people’s lives and tackle the taboo. I hope to start the conversation about how to optimize sex, and about how to optimize your sexual connection with yourself first. And only then - with your partner.
If you're interested in improving your sex life with personalized guidance and exercises created by Dr. Britney Blair and her team, download Lover today. We offer a 7 Day Free Trial, so you can get started on your journey towards better sex, completely risk-free.