• The Lover Team

How To Overcome Performance Anxiety And Erectile Dysfunction

Updated: Aug 10



What exactly is performance anxiety and why does it lead to ED? 


When you get an erection, blood rushes to your penis, which makes it hard. But, if you’re experiencing anxiety, you’re probably worried and distracted. That means less blood runs to your penis, making it difficult for you to keep it up.


The three biggest culprits of anxiety involve:

  1. Fear that you won’t be able to please your partner

  2. Low self-esteem or poor body image

  3. Communication problems between you and your partner

All these are distressing worries that affect a lot of people in different ways. If these are badly impacting your sex life here are some steps you can take to overcome them.


1. Fear that you won’t be able to please your partner


One of the best ways to deal with this is to speak openly with him or her about your worries. Ask them what types of things would give them pleasure and be willing to try something new. 


If your partner is also unsure, get exploring! You might watch some porn together or share your fantasies with each other. Trying something new might open you up to some new things you both might like.


It's also worth mentioning that penetrative sex isn't the only route to pleasure. Finding other ways to get sexual will take the pressure off you to 'perform'. It also provides other ways to get intimate with a partner. Why not take turns to masturbate in front of your partner, or give your partner oral?

2. Low self-esteem or poor body image


This issue is so common, and it can feel like a big challenge to overcome. With so many “perfect” celebrities and photo-shopped models all over the internet and media, it often feels like our bodies just don't match up.


To get past this, get more involved in the body-positive scene. Nowadays, there are so many influencers, bloggers, and even modeling agencies that actively work to promote all body types. When you see others who look like you promoted in a flattering and positive light, you’ll start to value your own body. Appreciating the beauty that comes with your unique look goes a long way.


Exercising is also a great way to increase confidence and boost your mood. You are probably aware that it releases endorphins which actually help produce positive feelings!


3. Communication problems between you and your partner

Your relationship inside the bedroom has a lot to do with how things are going outside too. If there are unsolved arguments or unspoken tense feelings, that can affect your sex life. 


The best way to solve that is to discuss these issues openly, with an attitude of honesty and compromise. Once your emotional connection is stronger - it’s likely this will translate into a stronger sexual connection in the bedroom. 


Which ED Solution is Right for You?


Some cases of erectile dysfunction need to be treated by a doctor through medication or other treatments. But almost all ED cases involve a psychological issue. Sex therapy for erectile dysfunction is therefore a great solution for ED, so you might want to check out some at-home treatments and exercises before seeking medical treatment.


In our Lover app, we offer an instantly downloadable course full of resources. We'll help you through all the issues connected with maintaining an erection.


You will also find practical exercises to help you strengthen your stamina. Our Getting Hard, Made Easy course is a digital treatment designed by our co-founder and Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Britney Blair for erectile dysfunction.


Download this comprehensive guide to overcome sexual barriers and get back to enjoying sex at its fullest.

For more information erectile dysfunction, visit our blog post here. Or, to find out how lover can help you see here.

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