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Lover's Sex Position Of The Week Deep Impact

Well, the clue is in the name for this Position Of The Week!

Sometimes known as The Shoulder Holder, we prefer the name Deep Impact because that really does describe, very succinctly, the most important benefit of this position.

Deep Impact (or Shoulder Holder) sex position, how to do it

And for those of you who were wincing at The Arch last week, you’ll be relieved to know that this is a far more friendly option for those of us who are, let’s say, a little less stretchy. Although if you’re the receiving partner in this position, it could still be worth doing a few hamstring stretches first!

The Setup

The setup is pretty straightforward for Deep Impact. As with all our of positions, remember to warm both partners up with non-genital and light genital touching, before moving to penetration. Keep in mind that the average woman will need 20 minutes of non-genital touch before she is ready for any kind of stimulation… So never rush straight into these positions. Trust us – as with any type of penetrative play - it’s going to be a whole lot better for both of you to take things slow and build up to it.

Once you’re both suitably warmed up and ready to try Deep Impact out, it’s time to get into position. You’ll ideally want to be on a bed, although this can be done on the floor as well (the penetrating partner’s knees might not thank you for that decision though!).

The receiving partner lies down on their back, with their hands by their sides, and raises their legs out in front of them as high as possible. The penetrating partner then clasps both ankles and gently (repeat, gently!) applies a little pressure to keep raising their partner’s feet over their head.

Getting Into Position

At this point – ever so momentarily - it’s helpful for the penetrating partner to think of themselves more like a personal trainer or masseuse than an excited partner in the middle of sex. Because let’s face it, everybody likes to have hamstrings after sex, the receiving partner included. So apply pressure gently and slowly until your partner tells you to stop.

Ideally, the receiving partner’s feet will be above their heads, but if that isn’t possible – don’t worry. Different positions will work for different partners, depending on a lot of different variables. Anything from the curve of the penetrating partner’s penis (or dildo), to the location of the receiving partner’s clitoris (if they have one) will change the ideal angle for the two of you in this position. So just get the legs as high as feels comfortable.

For the receiving partner, they have the choice of holding onto their partner’s legs (this can be great for pulling them towards you and deeper inside

of you during penetration, which helps you set a rhythm that works for you). Or you can keep your hands free to play with yourself – which can work really well for a whole range of other (really obvious) reasons!

Getting Going

At this point, it's over to the penetrating partner. To begin with, while they are actually in the act of penetrating, we’d recommend resting your partner’s ankles on your shoulders (hence the alternative name, The Shoulder Holder). This will free up your hands to guide yourself into your partner.

Once you’re in, then you have to option to either keep their ankles on your shoulders, or take them in your hands. If tight hamstrings are a concern for your partner, then we’d recommend starting by holding the ankles (which means you can keep them more steady during sex). When the ankles rest on the shoulders, there can be a greater risk of over-extension if you both get carried away.

Deep Impact allows for a range of different motions during sex and you can experiment with some or all of the following to find what works best for you both.

Rock n' Roll

This can feel incredibly satisfying for both partners. Best done with the receiving partner’s ankles resting on the penetrating partner’s shoulders, the penetrating partner can build up a rocking motion that takes the receiving partner along for the ride.

Because of the depth of penetration, this position creates, the rocking motion works for all shapes and sizes, with a greatly reduced risk of “slipping out”. And it can feel incredibly intimate, with both of you following exactly the same rhythm with your whole bodies.

Just be careful to not get too carried away, because that risk of over-extending the hamstrings is never greater than when enjoying a strong rocking motion with ankles on shoulders!

Bump n' Grind

If getting into position has been a little bit more of a struggle than hoped for, opting for a grinding motion might be the most pleasurable option for both of you. It minimizes the back-and-forth movement of the receiving partner’s legs, and in doing so reduces pressure on their hamstrings.

More importantly, it can feel absolutely fantastic! The penetrating partner can keep their hips thrust forward and downwards, and grind their hips down onto the receiving partner. Not only does this maximize the depth of penetration, depending on your body angle it can also apply some pleasurable pressure to the sensitive areas surrounding your partner’s genitals.

Circular grinds are a particular favorite in this position, so get those hips moving for maximum satisfaction!

In & Out Thrusts

Of course, the Deep Impact position is most often associated with the more traditional in & out motion of penetration. And this can feel GREAT too. In fact, it can feel a little too great for the penetrating partner, so be careful! The stimulation and depth of penetration can bring you to orgasm much more quickly than you might be used to. (This does however make it a great position for anyone experiencing delayed ejaculation).

One thing to bear in mind though, is that because of the angle – the in & out thrust might not feel as good for the receiving partner as you might expect. This can be down to all sorts of things, like the position of their clitoris (if they have one) and the curve of your penis (if you have one).

So make sure to pay attention, as always, and respond to each other’s verbal and non-verbal communication about what’s working and what isn’t.


So there you have it! Deep Impact is one of our favorites, and we’re sure you’ll love it too. Accessible, effective and intimate, it’s a position that creates endless pleasure for both partners (without the need to call a chiropractor after).

Let us know what you think of it once you’ve given it a go!

And if you’re ready to take your love life to the next level, don’t forget to download the Lover app and try out our 3-day Free Trial. Remember – 87% of users say it improved their love life within 10 days!

87% of people report feeling happier about their sex life after using Lover for 10 days


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