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Your Oral Sex Questions, Answered

So you've never tried oral sex before, and you're curious to know what you're getting into. Check out Dr. Blair's answers from our community to learn the basics of going down.

Is oral sex gross?

Dr. Blair says, "There is absolutely nothing gross about oral sex! Whether you're giving or receiving, this can be a great way to feel intense pleasure." If it will make you feel more comfortable, "You may consider taking a shower or asking your partner to take a shower before you get started."

Will I have more orgasms from oral sex?

For people with vulvas, this is one of the most popular ways to orgasm. Dr. Blair advises, "Make sure you and your partner are connected and aroused before you start. You don’t want to jump right in, and you’ll need to build up the erotic tension." Communication is the key to having orgasms from any type of erotic engagement. When it comes to oral sex, giving your partner feedback about what feels good, or guiding them to try something you like is the best way to ensure maximum pleasure. If you're on the giving end, try to stay receptive an open to feedback, switching up the way you use your mouth or hands, and maybe even involving toys!

What if I take too long to have an orgasm?

If you have a vulva, keep in mind that on average, you'll need a minimum of 20 minutes of clitoral stimulation before you can have an orgasm. If you're receiving oral, worrying about anything (whether it's the passage of time, self-conscious thoughts about your body, external sounds) will cause more difficulty to reach orgasm. Try to stay in the moment by practicing mindfulness techniques or simply acknowledging a passing thought and recalibrating by focusing on your five senses. If you experience delayed ejaculation, there are techniques and tips to try that can also help you to have orgasms faster. No matter who's on the receiving end, make sure to avoid rushing. Giving your partner cues from verbal and non-verbal communication will help you to avoid the situation of wondering if your partner is enjoying themself and panicking about what to say or do next.

How do I know if I'll be good at oral sex?

Try not to think in terms of good or bad, and instead think in terms of how you can meet your partner's sexual needs. The best way to do this is to ask your partner what feels good, and how they'd like to be touched. For you and your partner, your level of comfort beforehand also makes a big difference with the experience.

Is oral sex safe?

Before engaging erotically with a new partner, you'll want to make sure that you've both been tested for STIs. To have safe oral sex, make sure to use a barrier like a condom or dental dam. Dental dams are a safe way to feel the sensations of oral without direct mouth-to-genital contact.

If you're new to going down, check out our step-by-step guides for going down on a penis and going down on a vulva.


For a deeper dive into your sexual adventures, download the Lover app today!


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